You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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