its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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