Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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