JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?