He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
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he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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