it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
