we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
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I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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