Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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