is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
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I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
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Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have tasted many bathrooms