I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
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That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.