Only a mothe r could love this liver
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."