Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.