You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick