i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven