Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.