i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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