You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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