just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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