Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize