The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
