did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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