You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
