yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."