No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
