We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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