My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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