Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
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3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
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You are the jesus of drinking
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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