Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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