When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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