mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Too much gin, very little bucket
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
