U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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