the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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