I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
