I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
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I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
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I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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