PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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