So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
