Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
