I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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