Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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