i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
