I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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