So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
