It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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