You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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