ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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