Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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