I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
These tits shall not be calmed
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize