Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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