is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
