hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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