You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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