I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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