ugly people sure do ruin things
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
