the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize