my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize