At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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